Mom-ing or bombing / Uncategorized

Tomorrow I will.

Tomorrow I will be a better mom but today I want to sleep in. I want to hit the snooze button, roll over and snuggle my covers, and sleep the day away. I want to wake up in the afternoon and lay around reading a book and sipping coffee. I don’t want to wake you up and ask you 9 times to please finish getting dressed. I don’t want to have to find the shoes you never put back. I don’t want to pack your lunch or sign your papers or clean your tooth paste out of the sink before we rush out the door 7 minutes late. I don’t want to but maybe tomorrow I will.

Tomorrow I will be a better mom but today I want to buy myself a shirt. I could use a new pair of shoes. I just want to devote an entire day to spending the money I work for on just me. I don’t want to buy you a new toy because lord knows you don’t play with half of them. I don’t want to buy you new pants because overnight you somehow outgrew the 6 pair I just bought you. I don’t want to buy you new shoes because yours are soggy, smelly, lost or torn. I don’t want to but maybe tomorrow I will.

Tomorrow I will be a better mom but today I want to pick the song. I want get into the car I just cleaned out yesterday, roll my windows down, exceed the speed limit by a few miles per hour, and cruise in peace with the wind in my hair. I don’t care to hear the shark song or the same 21 Pilots song we’ve heard 1800 times this week. I don’t want to hear you holler even though I’m sitting less than a foot from you. I don’t want to be hit by a toy every time I switch on the turn signal. I don’t want to look back and see the collection of french fries, markers, and actions figures all over the seat. I don’t want to get the slime out of the carpet of the floor board. I don’t want to but maybe tomorrow I will.

Tomorrow I will be a better mom but today I want to poop in peace. I want to close the door, relax my sphincter, and scroll through Facebook with the occasional grunt… at the selfies or for other reasons. I don’t want to hear your Fortnite stories, play toilet paper basketball, or help you go find the ninja turtle toy you haven’t played with in two years but suddenly must have right this very second or the world will end. I don’t want to but maybe tomorrow I will.

Tomorrow I will be a better mom but today I want to eat what I want. I want to go anywhere other than McDonalds or Chic-fil-a. I want something other than spaghetti. I want a home cooked meal that cooked itself and a sink that isn’t full of dishes when it’s all said and done. I don’t want to throw my food, or draw in it, or add crazy ingredients to it. I don’t want your cold fries and chicken nuggets because if you wanted my salad you could’ve ordered your own. I don’t want to but maybe tomorrow I will.

Tomorrow I will be a better mom but tonight I want to lie in bed with my husband lost in oblivion. I want to ignore any sort of bed time routine. I want to share pillow talk and stare at the ceiling fan and snuggle and fall asleep whenever we get ready. I don’t want to make up your bed for the 2nd time this week while anticipating you may accidentally wet it again tonight. I don’t want fight you to cut the TV off or tuck you in. I don’t want to read a bed time story, count sheep, or chase away boogy men. I don’t want to but maybe tomorrow I will.

Tomorrow I will be a better mom but today I have to go to work. Today I have to drop you off, miss you the moment you close the door, pray you’re safe in the moments you are gone, and go make some more money. You know… to buy you a new bedtime book, and some more toilet paper for basketball, and another meal from Chic-fil-a, and some new pants, and a few more toys, and some more of your favorite songs, and possibly a new alarm clock. Tomorrow I will be a better mom. I don’t want to admit that you are worth every single sacrifice but maybe tomorrow I will.

3 thoughts on “Tomorrow I will.

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